A tight clutching pain falls upon her heart

telling her either he has too hard a grip on her

or the pain cause from her lack of truth,

that those butterflies have begun to fly away 

and although she’s searched she can’t seem to get them back.

One minute she’s on top of the world loving him completely,

the next feeling completely out of place,

a mistaken puzzle piece 

that can’t seem to fit. 

Your eyes, a pool of icy blue water 

that has carried me somewhere 

I thought I’d never be. 

Sorry for not being on here lately I’ve been really sick and haven’t had the energy or mentality to be on here and post. Hope you are all doing well and I’m sorry again!

This monster has been hovering over me

with a knife about to descend into my flesh

for far too long. 

He came around when I was little,

a scared young girl with big dreams 

that continued to get crushed.

I thought he left until you spoke those words,

those words that made me realize 

somewhere inside me I am still that scared young girl

who never wants to be left alone. 

You have the power to esacape this place,

this place that most people dare to call home.

You live in your own world

created from the colors of your mind.

You needed something to fill in the blackness 

they said. So there you went,

You built a place to call your own,

an isolated little place you call home. 

I can see needing you always,

thinking about you all the time. 

I can see me in love with you,

something I have never been

able to wrap my head around. 

So I’m giving into it,

letting go of everything 

and diving into your love. 

Keep trying, that’s what you ask

yet you blind yourself unable to see

just how much I have gave in for you.

It’s as though my body has twisted into

a mold that you so desired in order to 

fit what you needed. 

Mindless talking lacking any feeling or emotions.

Oh but you thought I enjoyed this?

Rambling on the nothings of this life!

How wrong you are. 

You know I wear a mask so proudly 

as though to morph myself into whomever 

I must evolve into. 

How could you be so wrong, 

how could you be so blind?

I spend my day by the sea on a rusty old wooden dock

looking out counting the ripples upon the water. 

The sun was shinning, warm on my naked shoulders

as I poured my thoughts in an old purple notebook

signed with so much more than my love.